Running Together...

...that's what my days seem to be doing lately! Here I am sitting in my pj's on this beautiful Friday morning, and I almost can't remember what happened on Monday..4 days ago!!! And we are rapidly approaching Christmas, and then the end of 2010!! Seriously, where did the time go?!?

I haven't had a spectacularly busy year, but it has certainly flown by! When I think in terms of my children's birthdays, it makes it even worse! People, Saeler will be 5 years old in April!!! Yikes!! I tell her at least once a week that she can't get any older, to which she replies, "But mommy, I want to grow up and be a mommy!"...to which I reply (under my breath), "hopefully that won't be for another 20 years!". And the thought of her being 5 years old, only reminds me that I've also aged 5 years...in the last 5 years! Ha!! So, when she was in my belly I was a young 26 years old...now I'm, well..you can do the math! I don't in any way feel like I've aged 5 years, but I do hope that I've matured. :) And Axylle just turned 1 in October, but it felt like her first year passed in a blink! Why does time seem to go by so much faster when you have kids?

It may sound as though I'd like to slow things down, but I have to admit that I'm pretty happy about the way my life is happening right now! I was telling Aaron the other day, that I've never felt more comfortable in my own skin than I do right now...and that's a great feeling! I have a wonderfully awesome husband, two beautiful, happy daughters, amazing friends that "get" me...this list could go on and on. But really, I can't say enough how blessed I am! I realize, now more than ever, that life is a vapor, and so I'm just enjoying and making the most of every moment!

Happy Friday people!

Smith...out!

Bringing up girls...

...that's the title of the book I'm reading. And let me tell you, this book is not for the faint of heart or anyone who doesn't want their world rocked. I knew I was in for it when I read through the first chapter.

Several years ago, Dr. James Dobson wrote a book called, " Bringing Up Boys". After several requests through mail and email over the years, Dr. Dobson knew he needed to write a book for parents of daughters. Now that I've got two little girls of my own, I was so excited to hear that the book would be released around Mother's Day of this year...however, I didn't actually buy it until just a month ago. When it arrived in my mailbox, I skimmed through the preface and before I knew it, I was 5 chapters deep!

Since my girls were in the womb, I have prayed certain things over their lives, that I have now come to realize, were not being enforced with our lifestyle. The book begins by discussing how early and seemingly innocently, we introduce "perfection" to our daughters and how without saying much, we communicate that sex appeal is everything and can get them anything they want.

When I was younger, like most girls, I had Barbie's...and lot's of them! I never realized until now, that Barbie's are a model of what is the world says is "perfect"...of what our daughters should aspire to look like...a perfect body with perfect proportions, a perfect face that is painted with perfect make-up, perfect hair, perfect clothes...even a perfect mate, the "Ken" doll! Nevermind the fact that Barbie has a grown woman's body which is quite volumtuious! Think about all that a little piece of plastic communicates to little girls! It's crazy! Then add to that, shows on TV that show women as just an object of desire...even commercials are blatant in depicting women as a piece of meat to be drooled over, instead of being honored and treasured! When you raise a little girl who only sees herself as a sex object, she will be used and often abused, and never think she deserves to be loved. It's not just "non-christians" that have these feelings...it's daughters of the King as well. We all have our moments of low self esteem and bad hair days, but subjecting ourselves and our girls to the world's standard of beauty absolutely negates what the Lord says over each one of His children, specifically, His daughters.

All that to say, my family is on the brink of an extreme lifestyle change. We've gotten rid of our cable TV, I've gone through Saeler's toys and discarded of the Barbie's as well as some of her Disney movies. And most days, we only listen to music or read books for entertainment...even though my girls provide plenty of entertainment for me. :)

You may disagree with my thoughts and ways of doing things, but you can't deny that the enemy is out "to steal, kill and destroy!" and that he will use any means to do so. So let's raise our girls with a mindset and confidence in the Lord that will counter the crazy culture we live in. I know I'll make mistakes along they way, but I believe that my prayers are powerful and effective and coupled with His grace and mercies that are new everyday, my daughters will live a blessed life in extreme purity before the Lord.

PS. I know that our sons are just as in danger as our daughters. I'm only referencing girls, because I've got two of them. :)

The Precious Things...

So I realize that it's been a little while...ok, a long while, since I posted a blog, but my thoughts right now are just too many to keep to myself. I'll post an update blog later about all the happ's going on with my little family, but this blog is dedicated to my friend Lana.

We've known Rusty and Lana for almost 8 years. Aaron met Rusty when we lived in Texas the first time ('02-04)...he was working for Kelley Moore Paint. Rusty and Aaron became great friends quickly and before long, Lana (Rusty's wife) and I had hit it off as well. We've kept in touch with them through all of our moving around, which I'm so thankful for. Since we've been back in Texas (moved back in '07), we've only seen them a handful of times, but it's only because of us all having busy schedules. Rusty has been going to school to finish a degree and Lana is a lawyer (one of the best!) and at great firm in Las Colinas. Last year, they had a beautiful baby boy, Fox! We went to the hospital to see them, and I told Aaron that Fox was one of the most beautiful newborn babies I've ever laid eyes on! Lana had to have an emergency c-section, but was determined to not let her traumatic birth experience hinder her getting back to normalcy. She even started running again (she was quite an avid runner pre-pregnancy...like running marathons, people!!) 3 weeks after having her belly sewn up!!! She is one of the strongest and most determined women I've ever known!

A few months ago, Aaron got a scary text from Rusty that was so limited in information, that all we could do was PRAY!!! Lana had discovered a lump in her breast and after a biopsy, was told that she had breast cancer. After further tests, doctors found that the cancer had already spread to her lymphatic system. This news was completely surprising and terrifying for them, as you can imagine! In June, Lana had surgery to remove both breasts (to hopefully, prevent the cancer from spreading to the other breast). After recovering from that painful surgery (painful not just physically, but emotionally!!!), they scheduled her date to start chemotherapy and radiation. From the outside looking in, it all seemed like it was happening so fast! I can only imagine how it must have really felt for Rusty and Lana! Right now, Lana has gone through 3 sessions of the chemo...she has 12 left (I think). Coupled with radiation, this is just kicking her butt! She's a wife, a mother, and is trying to continue working through all of this!

She's keeping an online journal (www.caringbridge.org/visit/lanareagor) that I've been reading as she goes through all of this. I so appreciate her honesty and vulnerability! Some entries are her feelings about how much it sucks going through this right now...the nausea, not being able to pick up her baby boy, feeling weak and emotional, losing her hair, etc...but every entry is also laced with hope and such strength!

As I read through every journal entry, I'm reminded just how precious life is! I feel like I'm a very thankful person, that I'm very aware of how blessed I am. But this is just one more situation that reminds me to be grateful for every second of this life! It reminds me to soak up every moment of my babies laughter. It reminds me to enjoy and make time to love on my amazing husband. It reminds me to stop rushing through parts of my day and just look at all of the good that is happening around me. I don't want miss or take for granted the little things...the precious things.

I'm fervently praying for Lana's physical healing, for strength, for the grace to keep going! I know she is beyond determined to beat this...she's already registered to take part in the Susan G. Komen 5K race in October! Seriously people, she is a force to be reckoned with! :)

So after you read this, go kiss your spouse, hug your babies, go outside and take in a deep breath, close your eyes and simply whisper, "thank you".

Rusty, Lana and Fox

Rose Colored Glasses...

Well, not exactly. Although, I'm pretty sure they will be some shade of pink.

That's right, Saeler is getting glasses!

I took her to the eye doc last week and he confirmed what we've been observing over a year now...she definitely has impaired vision. Specifically, Saeler is far-sighted. We've taken the last few days to do some frame shopping and here's what we've come up with.

I had her try on some other metal frames that were much thinner, but Aaron veto'd them right away. I'm kind of stuck between the last two. Whichever one we choose, I know she'll look adorable! And we'll be getting a back-up pair as well because, well...she's a four year old and I'm sure we'll need them sooner than later. :)

I'm still believing for her eyes to be completely healed, but right now I feel peace in going ahead and getting her glasses. I know it will help her tremendously and as her mom, I want her to be able to enjoy and see all that is going on around her!

So cast your vote! Final decision will be made tomorrow and I'll post pics as soon we get them!

From sippy cups to coffee cups.

Last night, at the store, I purchased my (almost) 6 month old baby girl, her first sippy cup. Two things came to my mind as I paid for it at the checkout. First: I cannot believe that ONE sippy cup is almost $4.00! Seriously! Second: This sippy cup stage will go by so quickly. This second thought was immediately followed with visions of what Axylle might look like at age 5 when sippy cups are (usually) no longer necessary. I had to use my imagination, of course, but she WILL be the most beautiful 5 year old EVER! :)

I thought about the sippy cup this morning as Saeler climbed into my bed and immediately started telling me the most elaborate story about a dog, a pig and a birdie...all with names and occupations, of course. I thought about how quickly it seemed Saeler has grown up. I remember her baby stage so clearly. I remember her falling asleep in my arms. I remember her managing to sit up all by herself for the first time. I remember her first steps. I remember when she first learned how to clap. I remember standing near the stove while holding her and telling her "hot" and hearing her repeat (much to my surprise), "hot"! Heck, I remember carrying her inside me...feeling her kick and move. Now I have to sort of grunt when I pick her up. She falls asleep all on her own. She skips and dances all over the house. She sings songs and says things that literally crack me up and amaze me! She's gotten so big, so fast. And I know that all of this will happen with Axylle too...actually, it's already started! And before I know it, both of my girls will be grown.

It kind of makes me sad. It kind of makes me want to never let them out of my sight. It kind of makes me want to squeeze them and kiss them every second of the day! They are so precious to me! And my love for them is beyond what words can even express!

I am fully aware of what a gift and also serious responsibility it is to be a parent. I know that the time that they are in my physical care will be here and gone. I'm doing my best to take both mental pictures and ones that I can hang on my wall. I'm keeping track of their milestones and fun little memories. I'm trying to savor every second...every millisecond!

I am, however, also looking forward to the day when I can sit down with my daughters over a cup of coffee and talk about the Lord, about life, about love. I can only imagine what a joy it will be to look at my grown daughters and see how the Lord will have answered the prayers that I've prayed over them. I can say that because I know that the Lord answers prayers...especially those that we pray in agreement with His word. And I have prayed very specifically over my girls since the minute I knew they were growing inside me. I know that they are destined to do great things in the kingdom of God! I know that they will be world shakers. I know that they will be strong and do exploits for their God. They will be mighty women who run after His heart!

So from sippy cups to coffee cups...I'll be the doting mother. I'll be the praying mother. I'll be the one treasuring every moment...because that's what mother's do. :)

The Happ's...

So it's already been a couple of months since my last blog (oops!)...so much for keeping up with this thing! But I do have an excuse. Actually two excuses: my daughters. I knew I would be busy having two children now, but I'm finding that I seem to have the hardest time getting things done like I used to, being on time to places that I should be, and honestly...even managing to shower every day! At the end of each day, I find that I am almost completely exhausted, and were it not for me wanting to spend a little alone time with Aaron, I would be in bed immediately after I put the girls to sleep! However, I have to say that I am loving my life right now! My two girls are such a joy to my heart...I find myself laughing and smiling all day, even feeling giddy about the fact that my offspring are just the cutest creatures on the planet (yes, I am very biased!)!

Saeler just celebrated her 4th birthday (agghh!) and already seems so much older to me! She's also gotten a tad sassier in the last couple of months...which means more discipline. I'm really having to work at being faithful to discipline recently. It's much easier to deal with an issue when there's only one issue at a time. But when Saeler "acts out", it's usually at the most inconvenient time...Axylle needs a diaper change or has just spit up EVERYWHERE, dinner is on the stove, I'm in the middle of an important conversation with someone, etc. It's in those moments that I have to discern if whatever has just happened with Saeler is spanking worthy or if just a very stern talking to will do. I haven't quite gotten it down pat yet, but it's all I can do right now. Thankfully, these times don't come up as frequently as they used to. Saeler, for the most part, is very well behaved. She'd much rather receive praise for something well done than have to have the consequences of disobedience...wouldn't we all? :) She's a great helper, and LOVES her baby sister so much that sometimes I wonder if she's about to explode from excitement!

The sweetest four year old in the universe!

Axylle, now almost 6 months old, is quite the busy-body! She's rolling and scooting (mostly backwards) everywhere! She loves to jump in her jumper and is making more noise than I've ever heard come from an infant her age! She's the loudest babble-er I've ever heard...but it's SO sweet!!! She now has two bottom teeth and is enjoying trying different baby foods, with one exception: bananas. Axylle is not a fan of bananas. But Saeler wasn't either, so I'm not too surprised. Axylle is also the most joyful baby I've ever known! Saeler smiled a lot as an infant, but she's got nothin' on her sister who's middle name is appropriately Jubilee!

The happiest baby on the planet!

Aaron and I have been having a lot of great times too! We always have fun together, but lately, it's seems to be more quality! He works about 12 hours a day, so we have to really guard our time together and spend it being happy with each other and not bickering over something petty. We don't do a lot of bickering as it is, so that's good...but I honestly, in this moment, I can't even think of the last time we had an argument! Pretty good, eh?

Well, that's about all I've got for now...just a little update of the "happ's" of my life. Maybe if we're lucky, I'll write another blog next week. But let's not hold our breath. :)

Little Sponges

I have two little sponges. Two little sponges who are soaking in and absorbing the world around them. When you squeeze them, you can see and hear what they've been absorbing. Sometimes what comes out is so precious...other times, just plain ugly. These little sponges are my beautiful daughters.

We've noticed recently, more than ever before, just how much Saeler listens to and watches everything that we say and do. And I mean EVERYTHING! Sometimes I hear myself in her when I ask her to do something and she tells me "Hold on Mommy". Or last week, I was bending down and didn't realize that there was a cabinet opened...as I stood up, my back was pierced by the corner of the cabinet door! Immediately I said, "Agghhh! Dang it!!!". Later that day, Saeler was carrying an armful of toys from her room to the living room, but kept dropping one or two on her way. Finally, I hear her say, "Agghhh! Dang it!!!"! I quickly jumped up from what I was doing so I could address what I'd just heard come out of her mouth. With no hesitation, she reminded me that I had said the exact same thing! Major oops!!! (That may not be a big deal to some, but I just feel that some things are unbecoming of a beautiful, 4 year old little girl!).

The old saying, "Garbage in---garbage out!" has never been truer! However, the opposite is also true...if we listen to "life" then that is what will come out! If we watch things that are "life" then that is what is acted out. There is very little on TV that is appropriate for an almost 4 year old to watch...let alone a 30 year old! The previews for some movies, cause ME to look away! And the dialogue in most prime-time shows is so lewd that I'm embarrassed to admit that I've watched them!

We do our very best to distract Saeler during the movie previews, or parts of certain shows that a 4 year old should not see...but sometimes we just forget or don't think about the way we will see and hear what she takes in, very shortly! On the other hand, there is nothing that brings my heart more joy than to hear her singing Misty Edwards to herself as she goes to sleep "For I live only to see Your face..." or when we pray at night, "Father fill us with Your Spirit! " or watching her bow down during worship!

And Axylle is now starting to mimic things too! She'll smile when you smile at her. She'll stick her tongue out when she sees you do the same. She'll babble and make noise when she hears you babble to her. It's so sweet, but so reminds me just how little time we have as parents to fill them and surround them with things that bear good fruit!

I want my children to be the exception in a wicked society. I want them to bring the life of Jesus to every situation and person they encounter! I believe with all of my heart that they will have great influence during these last days! So my job and mission is to "train them up"...to show them how to have the joy of the Lord in every circumstance, to teach them that by being quick to obey what Mommy and Daddy ask equates to being quick to obey what their Heavenly Father asks, to teach them that we carry the power of life and death on our tongues, to teach them that we can be angry or upset and not sin! What a great responsibility it is being a parent!

Father, help us! Fill me with your life, wisdom and revelation, so that what my children soak up from me, is You!